Hiding Out In The Ice Kingdom
by Red Witch
Summary: Where did the King of Ooo go after the disaster that was the Apple Wedding? Three guesses...


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Adventure Time characters has been thrown in jail. Don't worry, it will be out thanks to a good lawyer. Just a bit of something inspired by Apple Wedding. Now where would the King of Ooo go to get away from Bubblegum? Oh yeah….**

**Hiding out in the Ice Kingdom**

"Thanks for letting me hide out here for a bit Ice King," The King of Ooo let out a breath.

"No biggie," Ice King waved. The two kings were sitting down on a couch in the Ice King's living room. "We royal dudes gotta stick together."

"Yeah I figured this would be the **last place** that crazy Princess Bubblegum would look for me," The King of Ooo groaned. "I figure if I lie low a few days, fix my blimp then I can head out into my secret sanctum."

"Hey I'm just happy for the company," Ice King said. "So what exactly did you do to tick her off?"

"I don't know exactly," The King of Ooo groaned. "I think she sees me as a threat to her power. Actually I don't know why I'm surprised. All the princesses and royalty in Ooo think I'm a threat to their power. Even though I don't really have an army and I'm not interested in taking over everything. Just trying to get somebody to help out with the housekeeping every now and then. Maybe have someone mow my lawn once in a while? That sort of stuff."

"I hear ya pal," Ice King sighed. A snowman moaned and wandered around holding a tray. "Here's a tip, snowmen do not make good butlers. And penguins well…they do their best but you know?"

"I understand," The King of Ooo sighed. "I mean all I wanted to do was perform a simple wedding ceremony. Spread some joy and love around. And maybe get somebody to clean my house for a few years? But that doesn't give Bubblegum the right to throw me and everyone else in jail!"

"Now when you say **everyone**…?" Ice King blinked. "You mean Finn and Jake…?"

"They got thrown in too," The King of Ooo sighed.

"Even though they were basically on her side…?"

"Yes…"

"Tree Trunks?"

"Her too. And Mr. Pig. And her ex-husbands."

"Lady Rainicorn?" Ice King asked.

"Yes."

"The Pups?"

"Yes."

"BMO?"

"Yes."

"The Banana Guard?"

"Some of them. Yes."

"The flower girl?"

"Yes! Everybody!" The King of Ooo said. "The whole wedding party, me, all the guests, me, Cinnamon Bun, me…that crazy Lumpy Space Princess…"

"Lumpy Space Princess got thrown in the hooscow too?" Ice King asked. "Weird. And Bubblegum gets mad when I do it! What's up with that?"

"I even legally updated my paperwork and everything!" The King of Ooo groaned. "Do you know how long I had to stand in line for that? That was like a whole day of standing in line and filling out forms. I barely had time to play a round of golf."

"Wait Cinnamon Bun was there **too?**" Ice King was confused. "I thought he was living in the Fire Kingdom now?"

"He still is but he left for the ceremony. I think there's some kind of ambassador exchange program or something," The King of Ooo waved. "I didn't get all the details."

"Hmmm…" The Ice King blinked. "BMO too?"

"Yes BMO too!" The King of Ooo sighed. "Wait was BMO in prison with us? Then again I think he must have run off before…Oh never mind! I can't believe this! All I wanted to do was do a nice mostly legal ceremony and enjoy the reception. Maybe have some apple cider? Some little canapés. Might get lucky and dance with somebody. But nooo! Princess Bubblegum had to ruin everything including my free meal!"

"That reminds me," Ice King looked at the snowman that was now literally walking into the walls. "Really should do something about that snowman before lunch."

The King of Ooo went on. "Princess Bubblegum breaks into **my blimp**! Goes through **my private files**! Steals my blimp! **Crashes **my blimp and interrupts a ceremony that I was legally qualified to conduct and she arrests **me** for fraud? She breaks at least five laws and **I'm** the one who gets thrown in jail?"

"Five laws?" Ice King blinked.

"Breaking and entering! Theft! Illegal search and seizure," The King of Ooo counted. "Destruction of property! Driving a stolen blimp without a pilot's license!"

"It's _illegal_ to do that stuff?" Ice King blinked.

"She does all that and **I'm** the criminal?" The King of Ooo went on. "If I hadn't chewed my way through the bars that insane lunatic would have had my head!"

"Yeah, she kind of gets wound up like that," The Ice King laughed nervously.

"By the way, Ice King I once again give you permission to marry Princess Bubblegum and any other princess you want," The King of Ooo frowned. "Even if you have to lock them up. In fact I would prefer it if you locked them up! ESPECIALLY PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM!"

"Oh yeah I remember what you said from last time," Ice King nodded. "But right now PB and I are on a break."

"Of course you are…" The King of Ooo groaned.

"Hey I know!" Ice King said excitedly. "We can have a slumber party! Those are fun!"

"Wenk," Gunter the penguin looked at the Ice King.

"What is it Gunter?" Ice King asked.

"Wenk."

"No Daddy can't brush you now," Ice King huffed. "He has company. In fact why don't you go say hello to the King of Ooo? Go on now."

"Wenk…" Gunter waddled over to the King of Ooo.

"Hello there little penguin," The King of Ooo said nicely. Gunter just stared at him. "Uh does he always stare at people like that?"

"Oh yes Gunter is very friendly," Ice King got up and started to look around the room.

Friendly was not the word the King of Ooo would use to describe how Gunter was looking at him. "Hello little penguin," The King of Ooo said nicely. "How are you this lovely day?"

"Wenk."

"Oh-kay…" The King of Ooo blinked as Gunter started to peck at his leg. "No, please don't do that!"

Gunter stopped only to start grabbing his leg and pulling it. "Don't do that either!"

Then Gunter did something else. "Hey! No! Stop humping my leg! Bad penguin! Bad penguin!"

"Oh boy! We can have a penguin party!" Ice King said cheerfully as he found a chest of drawers and started throwing things out of it. He threw some socks which happened to land on the King of Ooo's face.

"Now it's coming back to me," The King of Ooo sighed as he removed the socks. "Now I remember why I don't visit the Ice Kingdom more often."

"Ooh! I know what we can do!" Ice King spoke up.

"You're not going to make me listen to one of your crazy fan fictions again aren't you?" The King of Ooo asked.

"Uh…" Ice King had a handmade book in his hand. "No…"

"Okay look…" The King of Ooo stood up but Gunter clung onto his leg. "Hey! Get off! Bad penguin! Bad penguin!" He tried to shake his leg but Gunter held on tight.

"Ooh! Is that a new dance! Let me try!" The Ice King danced around shaking his leg.

"No it's not a new…I gotta get out of here!" The King of Ooo turned around and saw that his way was blocked.

"Oh no…" The King of Ooo gasped. There was now a large horde of penguins staring at him. And then they moved towards him.

"Wenk! Wenk! Wenk!"

"Wheeee!" The Ice King laughed as his penguins started to nuzzle and tickle him. "That tickles!"

"Great. Molested by penguins," The King of Ooo moaned as he lay on the floor. Several penguins danced on his body. "The perfect end to a perfect day!"

"Penguin Mosh Pit! YAY!" The Ice King laughed as half of the penguin horde carried him around the room while the other half continued to torment the King of Ooo.

"And people wonder why I don't get out much," The King of Ooo moaned.


End file.
